Take deep breathes and relax.

So in English the other day we had to do these collages about ourselves and who we think we are, and I have discovered well nothing. Yes, nothing. No-thing. I mean self reflection, introverted thinking, all of that works well when you are honest with yourself, but I don't want to be honest inside. I mean, everyone makes their mistakes, has their dark moments, and I don't want to go around reflecting upon mine.

I will say that life is filled with choices, every minute there is a choice, and every choice has a million different outcomes; a million billion possibilities. It's weird to think how the choices we make affect us daily. Who knows, we might all be millionaires if only we would have been standing two inches to the left at one point in time. Unfortunately we weren't so we shall never know.

I am only writing this cause Mindy told me I have to write a blog post, it really has nothing to do with any significance in my life, since nothing significant is really happening. I mean lets face it, I'm not doing anything special. I work two or three nights a week, right after practice, where I run around a lot, choke it up in the meets, get the coaches pissed off, piss off my teammates, sleep through econ, screw up in psych, fail in Trig, go emo in English, and pretty much just live life in bubble man mode. It's really getting to me, and it's pissing me off that I have zero energy throughout the day. I can't sit through a day now without falling asleep in class, plus I am getting really pissed off at the world. I come home and I can't say that my mom and I are getting along in an A Plus fashion anymore, mostly because we get roughly 8 hours of sleep between the two of us and neither of us are having the easiest days at school so things are getting tough.

It's fun to just rant on the blogger, I mean it doesn't get hurt, doesn't respond back , doesn't start crying just because you tantrum out on it. Thats awesome.

someday i just want to list the people I like on here so I wouldn't even have to worry about it being in my head and tearing away at me. It's like a jack-in-the-box trying to explode and its unnerving trying to contain it all. Very much so.


I yearn for state this year sooooo bad. I do'nt care about anything else, I will skip homecoming, fail psych, fail school, piss off the world, if only i can make it and run in the state meet. I know that sounds really bad, really lame and really just stupid, but the feeling when you run well, when you know you succeeded in pushing yourself to the limit and that you excelled; that feeling is sooo good, so euphemistic that I would die for it. I miss the meet, which sounds weird and lame, but I miss it. All the fans, the course, the sun, the weather, the friends, the hotel, everything about it was a moment I shall never forget. I don't care about anything else right now besides just staying on track in school, all that I am focusing on is state Cross Country. Girls, homecoming, life, work, everything else is on the backburner (some things even off the burner {aka- girls and homecoming}.


HAHA MINDY!! YOUR IN A PICTURE HAHAHA.



Live life my friends, you don't get a second shot.