Wheee!!!!

I like pictures..

I need to get a girl friend... yea... im really lame.

:>

I MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH....

I love this sport...

Until next time, enjoy.

In the game of life, there are winners and there are players.

Anyone ever play the game chess?? It is an odd game. You make a move with the end idea to get one piece, just to put the king in checkmate. Sure there are other important pieces to grab along the way, most notably the queen, but in the end everyone is aiming for the King. One piece... an entire game focused around how to either capture that piece or how to defend that piece. Strange how similar to life this is. For many people, that goal, is more then likely focused around their religion, the idea that they want to get to heaven. All of the tools we are given are like pawns or rooks or knights, helping us to get to that king, or heaven. The queen is a very powerful piece in the game of chess, it has the most mobility and the most directional capabilities of any piece on the board. It is also the cause of many losses for people who can not win without her. After all, entire game theories are based off of the queen. Isn't that similar to peoples lives?? We can't go on without that one piece, that most important thing we need. We get so focused on the way to achieve the goal, that we almost forget what the goal itself is.

It is naive to think that life can be summarized in a simple game of chess, then again, is life really that complex. Or is it actually simple?? We are all born, and we all die. Isn't that simple? Isn't that the basic gist of life. No matter what you do while living, you will die, the world will go on, people will forget about you eventually, and the world will keep chugging along. Then again, just as a good game of chess will not be forgotten by the participants, nor will a good life be forgotten by the world. After all, aren't some of the greatest humans who have ever lived in our country revered on their birthdays?? Aren't great people drilled into our minds in history classes. Does the chess game really finish once all the pieces are put away?? Or does it continue on?? How can we answer these questions!! How can we of all beings know what happens once the game is over. After all, isn't the point of faith to explain these ideas. To tell me where I go when I die?? Or when my grandma died, or when my cousin died. Isn't that the idea... Is it really?? What is the point?

I have been to churches... several different churches. My own United Methodist Church, which I grew up in every day of my younger childhood years, I loved that building then, but now its become something different. The symbol of my youth then, is not the same holy and fun place now. Now it's an entrapment. An ideology of faith that I no longer share with that building. The idea that I have to go to church every weekend in order to be a christian, and that I have to give my offering, and my time and every single belief to the ideas of what a man on the podium is telling me because that is his idea. That isn't the way I was raised in church. The fact that the church is so holy, and God is first and foremost, yet it is all controlled by one man, or one woman is inherently against God. The fact that something can only be done in the church with the approval of a pastor or a leader is against the ideas of the church isn't it?? The idea of the church was that it is a place for worship, for fellow christians to hang out as equals and share the love of God. At least thats how I was raised. So why is it then, that the church is a place I despise. A realm of illusion, all constructed under the belief that people who have gone have had a spiritual change, an awakening. Why is it that I feel no God at church. Where is God then?? If hes not at church, his own house, where is he?? I don't know, I can't answer that question. I can't put my finger upon it, I can't wrap my mind around it, and at times I wonder if I'm even supposed to try. I mean isn't this like a declaration of unbelieving. But if you never challenge your beliefs, how do you even know you really hold them. How is faith supposed to work when you don't even know what you are believing in....