Take deep breathes and relax.

So in English the other day we had to do these collages about ourselves and who we think we are, and I have discovered well nothing. Yes, nothing. No-thing. I mean self reflection, introverted thinking, all of that works well when you are honest with yourself, but I don't want to be honest inside. I mean, everyone makes their mistakes, has their dark moments, and I don't want to go around reflecting upon mine.

I will say that life is filled with choices, every minute there is a choice, and every choice has a million different outcomes; a million billion possibilities. It's weird to think how the choices we make affect us daily. Who knows, we might all be millionaires if only we would have been standing two inches to the left at one point in time. Unfortunately we weren't so we shall never know.

I am only writing this cause Mindy told me I have to write a blog post, it really has nothing to do with any significance in my life, since nothing significant is really happening. I mean lets face it, I'm not doing anything special. I work two or three nights a week, right after practice, where I run around a lot, choke it up in the meets, get the coaches pissed off, piss off my teammates, sleep through econ, screw up in psych, fail in Trig, go emo in English, and pretty much just live life in bubble man mode. It's really getting to me, and it's pissing me off that I have zero energy throughout the day. I can't sit through a day now without falling asleep in class, plus I am getting really pissed off at the world. I come home and I can't say that my mom and I are getting along in an A Plus fashion anymore, mostly because we get roughly 8 hours of sleep between the two of us and neither of us are having the easiest days at school so things are getting tough.

It's fun to just rant on the blogger, I mean it doesn't get hurt, doesn't respond back , doesn't start crying just because you tantrum out on it. Thats awesome.

someday i just want to list the people I like on here so I wouldn't even have to worry about it being in my head and tearing away at me. It's like a jack-in-the-box trying to explode and its unnerving trying to contain it all. Very much so.


I yearn for state this year sooooo bad. I do'nt care about anything else, I will skip homecoming, fail psych, fail school, piss off the world, if only i can make it and run in the state meet. I know that sounds really bad, really lame and really just stupid, but the feeling when you run well, when you know you succeeded in pushing yourself to the limit and that you excelled; that feeling is sooo good, so euphemistic that I would die for it. I miss the meet, which sounds weird and lame, but I miss it. All the fans, the course, the sun, the weather, the friends, the hotel, everything about it was a moment I shall never forget. I don't care about anything else right now besides just staying on track in school, all that I am focusing on is state Cross Country. Girls, homecoming, life, work, everything else is on the backburner (some things even off the burner {aka- girls and homecoming}.


HAHA MINDY!! YOUR IN A PICTURE HAHAHA.



Live life my friends, you don't get a second shot.

What to talk about. What indeed.

The XC season has gone all right so far. The girls team is turning into an impressive mix of talent and dedication, Ali Lorgi has proven herself to be inhuman as a freshman and it looks as if Lauren Brooks and Taylor Rafferty decided that effort pays off in the end. Another talented freshman looks to be Mindy too, maybe she will be right up with Ali by their senior years, so they could be a terrible twosome for Grafton. So maybe we will send someone to state this year, who knows. It could be a good season for them. Hopefully anyways.

For the boys, ehh. We have had our ups and downs. Ben getting injured was a massive blow to our team cause it knocked out another of our sub 19 runners, and it meant we have to count on either Paul or Andrew running and they just simply aren't as fast as Ben is or was. Plus it was just demoralizing cause he ran with us everyday and he isn't out there anymore so its a mental blow as well. Pity cause hes a senior and it would suck to miss your final year. I hope he comes back soon. Einerson is running really well this year, he has a really good future in Cross Country which is a good thing to see for Grafton. To be blunty honest, Brad is looking like a burned out chicken out there. He is running slower times now then he was in June for his 5K's, and thats not good. Especially with 3 more months of training under his belt, he should not be getting like this. Probably only going to get tougher for him as well. As for me, I have my ups and downs as well. When I go out there and run with determination, I run well, when I go out there and give up, I run like a pig. Therefore, duh!! run well. Obviously.

Last topic I guess. Homecoming. Ugh :P I almost don't want to go, I don't know who I'm going to ask, nor if I even will ask. Actually I take that back, I know who I want to ask, I just won't ask cause I know the odds are 0, non-existent, subliminally small, so microscopic that a microscope couldn't see it, unreal numbers. Yea... It's kinda depressing, and going to homecoming without a date is just unacceptable. sooooooooooooooooooo, not sure what I'm going to do here. If anybody cares. YEAAAAA

GO SHOPKO!!!! YEAAAAA

Night :)

School starts tomorrow :( :)

Title says it all. With school comes the garbage of homework, and late nights with little sleep, and drama, and waking up early, and dances, and girls, and all of the other problems that can be associated with high school. However, on the other hand, high school has all the benefits of hanging out with people, learning new (and interesting) things, the games, the sports, the semi-good feeling of having a semi-purpose. I am looking forward to high school completely, so much so, that I am taking a book and a crossword puzzle in to school tomorrow to pass the time. yea, quite exciting.

Today when I was driving home from practice, it was dark to the east and sunny to the west, and the rain was coming down at a gently steady pace. The sun was shining down and it was one of the most beautiful scenes I have ever seen. A rainbow was in the sky as well, it was a sight that I would pay to see again. It made me smile all night at work.

When it comes to making decisions, how do you do it?? Do you follow your head which tells you logic, or do you follow your heart which allows you to dream and hope?? My head says that its impossible, but my heart and my soul, they don't think its impossible, no I believe that theres a chance. An opportunity, one that can't be turned up.

Enjoy your school day everybody. It will be one of many to come :)